life
i try and try, but i can't fly
sometimes all i ever do is
cry
cry
and cry about this life of mine
to live like this is just a
crime
i
can't go away, i have to stay
dreading the coming of the very
next day
sitting around, making no sound
but the world keeps turning round
and round
i feel like im trapped, no way out
it's really hard to win this
bout
It's
like everything in my life goes wrong
why does it have to last so
long
I
wish it could all go right
maybe then i can step into the
light
back to the
top
Sadness
sadness is taking over more and more
i feel it is going to win this
war
even
though i try to fight it
deep inside me does it
sit
it's
growing and growing bigger yet
but i'll beat it out i
bet
ill
try and try until i ie
but even then ill ask God ,
why?
back to the
top
why?
why does the day last so long
only when when everything is going
wrong
why
does everyone cheer and shout
only when they finish mocking you
out
why
are friends so hard to find
and when you do they stab you from
behind
why
do people judge your outside
but passoff what's on the
inside
back to the
top
no way out
just when things start to go right
i have to put up yet another
fight
i
can't get away from the snickers and jeers
building and building inside are
my fears
i
just want to get far far away
oh god why is my life this
way
good
luck never knocks at my door
but sadness takes over more and
more
defacing me is what people do best
why can't i blend in with the
rest
i
feel like im caught in a pit
my candle of contentness is not
yet lit
i
try to tune out the snyde remarks
but out with laughter and laughter
they bark
back to the
top
walls
walls, they always hold you back
they don't let you go off
track
they
confine your own creativity
help! they're closing in on
me
there
is no door anywhere in sight
i can't put up that much of a
fight
they're closing in quicker and quicker
the space is getting less and less
thicker
it's all over for me it seems
back to the
top
he
just when you feel you lost the fight
HE comes around and makes you feel
alright
this is who you've been missing all along
HE is the one that makes you feel
strong
HE
is who you can tell everything to
hopefully HE feels the same way
about you
HE is the last one you speak to before going to bed
maybe without his
support you might be dead
Is this the meaning of love a word
very strong
and can this feeling last very long
back to the
top
stars
there are millions of stars
probably one for each
person
each shining with individuality
some are big, some are
small
some
are red, some are blue
but they are always shining
bright
shining together in perfect harmony
there are no wars between the sun
and the moon
they don't hate one another
all stars are as different as can
be
but
they manage to work as one
they draw their own shapes and
pictures
sometimes i wish i was a star
shining brightly, beautiful to
all
being
free to roam the black hole of a sky
everyone admiring my beautiful
shine
being able to shine with my own creativity
able to make wishes come
true
as
long as i get up first at night
yeah, being a star would be
fun
but i
have to live with being human
i can still dream though, can't
i?
back to the
top
.untitled.
there is a thin line
between love and hate
friendships are always tugging on
that line
our love wasn't of lovers but friends
now the hate side is growing
stronger
is it your change or mine
are there any
reasons
am
i jealous or are you enraged
is it what i said, did, or didnt'
do
is it
our fate to drift apart
or are we fated to stay
together
are there any reasons
back to the
top
.also.without.name.
Voices in my
head
telling me im wrong
i don't care
skrew the
world
the
only one that matters is dead
it is me
here in flesh but absent in
soul
killin is my world & i invite you to join me
you're invitation is my
pleasure
as you let down your guard
you let me take over
then you
resist
like your power matters
you are insignifigant to
me
puny
mortal
you
are crazy
i will destroy you & bring myself new life
i am living for
myself
now
you can die for me
((this was written during
my period of fascination with vampires))
back to the
top
she's alone
walking for
miles
everything silences
her touch
kills
her eyes shine
she hurts, but
doesn't know
the intentions are good
the outcome is
horrifying
yet no one is aware
she strikes too
quick
and dies even quicker
only to be born
again deeper
there is no escape
though you may
deny her
she will get you
you try to push
her away
but she let's herself in
she eats at
your heart
but the intentions are good
everyone
recognizes her
though she has no face
her memory
lives on
even after she has left
she always
leaves
though you may not miss her
she
tricks
she blinds
she
fools
she leeches
she
weakens
she is power
she is not
denied
by anyone anywhere
though some
think they have
she is not wise
but she is
strong
the strongest man succumbs
the weakest is
devoured
she was here in the beginning
with many
guises and lies
you know her well
but you know
nothing
she kills
she brings
life
she's ugly
she's
beautiful
she's horrid
she's
peaceful
who is she? you ask
well look
inside yourself
look where she broke
look where she
made alive
she's been there
more than
once
you know her well
you're only
escape might be death
you love
her
you hate her
but no
matter
she roams
back to the
top
The
greater scheme of things
what a horrible game
we are the
pawns
the
players are unseen
like helpless creatures lost in the woods
while the predator is breathing on
our necks
but rather than just quickly kill us
it toys with our
minds
everyone plays the game
though few know the rules of
combat
to
survive is a difficult feat
we must become numb &
void
thus
sacrificing love and caring
double jeapordy
to feel and
suffer
to
loathe and be empty
to numb and cut off
to cry and let
in
to
share and be denied
to hold in and go
insane
it's an impossible life we are expected to live
but there is no
escape
no
true ending
quick ways out just start it all over again
though waiting is
futile
everything is black and white
grey is just a dream
false
hopes
serious intentions
big let downs
startling
revalations
everything great has already been done
what's left but to
observe
be
somebody
ha! what a joke
do something
haven't we
tried?
break free
pipe dream
it's nothing more than a circle
for every high point
there is an opposing
low
just
an equidistant plane
trapped
held in
nothing left but to
conform
be
one of them
those who you always denounced
that's your true
destiny
back to the
top
see
through the glass pane
to the mind of the complete
insane
the
life that once wandered happily
is trapped in a reality not set
free
misconceptions tying everyone down
the only smiles are upside
down
what
is disguised as respect and care
is really only selfishness
there
the
victim is the one who causes the pain
cause the other to go completely
insane
like a book read from right to left side
the true meaning behind jibberish
will hide
one day the truth will openly escape
but the innocence of life it will
rape
so
forget it is about all you can do.
or pain and helplessness will
surround you
so go to the place, safe deep inside
take your confusion with you to
hide
as i
ponder the year comes to pass
i guess i just have to sit on my
ass
fuck,
the thinking just makes me hate
i guess all that's left is to
patiently wait
back to the
top
looking up to ground level
from the dirt in which i
reside
the
sun will reach me someday
my lotion is surely
applied
i
wait for my redemption
like a prisoner for his
bail
soon
my turn will come
where i rule & you follow
where i am the unattainable
high
and
you the abhorable low
soon i will mock you
scoff at your puny
self
you
will know being me
you will feel being low
you will learn human
suffering
but yours is eternal
for your happiness has already
passed
while mine is yet to begin
humble beginnings
happy
endings
lavis start
unfathomable
outcomes
you go backwards
as i progress
and in the
middle
we're even
yet can't see eye to eye
now im looking down the ground
level
where you only wish to stand
now i know being you
and i hate
it
back to the
top
The
Path
boredom in
happiness
predictability is mundane
knowing what tomorrow
holds
treating every day the same
seems as control is
stripped away
taken quickly from within my grip
watching my fate
happening
wishing my choices would flip
my path has already been
chosen for me
so i'll sit back and enjoy the ride
lay my head back and got to
sleep
contrasting the outer peace with rage inside
breaking the mold is hard
to do
when
it constricts all movement in you
being different is hard to
do
when
your niche is prechosen too
[10:49am]
back to the
top
-lead by the tail-
rage
peeking over the
edge
anger
boiling to the rim
frustration
overshadowing
all
shackled down
vision impaired
choices
gone
freewill broken
no longer in control of my own
life
watching as a guest
others have now run the
show
im
nothing more than a typecast
assimilate yourself
don't take me
too
i
never asked for this
i merely agreed
i guess i can't turn
back now
so i'll follow you lead
back to the
top
Take what's mine
walking through the
shadows
avoiding the limelight
peering with blind
eyes
hearing with deaf ears
speaking with invalid
tongue
my
actions useless
my thoughts jumbled
trapped in my own
hell
i
created the fire
now i must douse it
with my own self
standing on the
edge
looking down
must i jump
into my own
valcano
my
own sacrifice
my own life
my own choice
let it
burn
i
walk away
turning my back on destiny
spitting in fate's
face
this
is my life
i need my control
i will take over
my own
domain
will be mine
back to the
top
The End
This is the end my
friend
no
more pages to turn
predetermined as the final word
completed before its
time
does
one anticipate the end
or is it merely
accepted
it must come sooner or later
so why not sooner
all the words have been
said
all
the deeds already are done
no more left but a fresh
start
but
what will come of this
neglected - lost - forgotten -
replaced
with the blank slate awaiting
treasured - hidden - pondered -
priceless
from the value of the words
we'll see when that time
comes
but
for now this is
the end
back to the
top
untitled2
i sit and i
wait
for
my time to come
ahead i see nothing
behind me is a blur
i know nothing but
now
tomorrow is a mystery
yesterday shall fade
i must live for
today
but
tomorrow will it matter
is everything in
vein
the
apocalypse approaches
will i stare
open-mouthed
or live my minutes out
why even bother
when it all seems
useless
futile
living in a predetermined existance
for now
i dream
back to the
top
[d][m]
finally ive found someone
that understands
one to walk with, not lead me by the hand
someone who sees through the same
pair of eyes
someone who claims neither greater nor wise
i can say go, and it won't mean
stop
i try
to sneak under and get caught on top
seems to be thinking on my same
plane
must
be. he doesn't call me insane
a part of me in a whole other
state
i've
found it now, yet i hope not too late
who knows what this will all come
to mean
im
not even sure if it is what it seems
back to the
top
moniter
the blank plane sits
before me
the blinking of the transmitter
putting thoughts on this infernal
machine
as
i contemplate my meaning
is it really just a
machine?
or a bigger plan
what joy a motherboard can
bring
but
it's sickening to say so
back to the
top
clarity
i squint my
eyes
but
my views not clear
i can see nothing
but the wonder of
you
the
mystery surrounds
like fog on the harbour
shrouded in your own
enigma
as
i try to figure it out
there is no solution
intricacy completes
that
infinite possibilities in knowledge
to know you
is to be
you
to be
you
is to
feel you
to feel you
is to want you
to want
you
is to
have you
to have you
is to love you
to love
you
is my
pain
back to the
top
new
uncharted
territory
being explored
things never felt or
expressed
now become tangible
games don't exist
but neither does
reality
where does this go
do i choose to
follow
a
road whose end is not seen
stretches out before
me
do i
choose to go blindly
or do i submit to my
fears
taking a chance
or staying stable
do the
risks
outweigh the possibilities
could this be my
destiny
or
just another choice
do i stand
or do i walk
shall i
run
i must
find my point
are you there waiting?
back to the
top
touch
something inside is
stirred by your voice
your words and thoughts penetrate
me
deep
into the core of emotions
stirring the stagnant pool
inside
your affect on me goes deeper than most
my walls have been broken
down
you
found things my innerself didn't know
given me faith in this feeble
life
to
see beauty
to feel love
to hear clarity
but not to
touch
that
might be too much
there's comfort in not knowing
security in
cowardice
when we meet i might explode
over loaded with
emotions
can this be real?
no, my imagination can't create
this
for i
never imagined these feelings
it must be real
i wait not for tomorrow
but for a better today
you and i
we
back to the
top
ignition
coursing throughout my
body
like
a tidal wave of joy
your touch sparks the
flame
while your kiss ignites the fire
in your eyesi see
peace
the
peace i now seek
i have found peace of myself
but now there is peace with
you
you
look into me
while others look at me
i can't see through
you
your
an enigma
a mystery
there's so much more to be said
so much more to be
done
there
is time
i
trust in that
i will wait
as long as our hope
thrives
i
need yours to keep me going
as i need you
it's simple, yet
complex
apparant yet mysterious
bliss but timed
we will meet again and
again my dear
and hopefully the day will come
when i can wake up in your
arms
and
know your not going away
back to the
top
