Gosh, this “twitter” age has really gotten to everyone, and it sure as heck has gotten to me. One sentence seems to sum everything up so nicely. It’s such a quick and easy little package to tell the world what you are doing and move on quickly. How boring. I’m very disappointed in myself for losing the desire to write. Not that being an egomaniac who likes to tell strangers everything she thinks about is necessarily an accomplishment, at least it was writing something.

I used to want to be a professor, or a writer. I originally went to College with the intention that I would go on to get my Masters then my PhD and share my passion for literature, society, and the world with others in some shape or form. But then I got distracted by something shiny.

I don’t really know what’s wrong with me. Sure, you can talk to a doctor & they can tell you that you have Depression, Anxiety, Paranoia, and Hypo-mania. But you only told them about one quarter of all that nonsense that goes on in your silly little head. Who knows what would have been different if you told them everything.

I have a pretty great life. I have a job that I don’t hate, and that let’s me be who I am and forgives me of that since I’m pretty good at what I do. I have the greatest Fiance in the entire universe who really motivates me to be a better person every day, and move past all the silly shit in my head. I have awesome nerd-ass friends who are willing to pile up in a room and watch all three Lord of the Rings extended movies in one day.

But I never write anymore. Going for a walk is such a chore. Showering seems like a huge undertaking. Motivation and Misery are coupled together sometimes for people, and I wonder sometimes if that’s the case for me. I want a lot of things, but perhaps being happy just lets me sit around eating pints of Ben & Jerry’s and be fine with just that. What an odd shame.

Well I certainly can’t go back to being miserable, I mean, can I? I suppose if I keep being so melodramatic that’s where I will be headed. But, I’d like to write more at least. I suppose a stream of consciousness blog about that very thing is a bit of a good start…