I am a woman, and I am insecure. I am not entirely sure if those two are mutually exclusive or not, but they are both true for me. I try to remember myself & keep a lot of that in check, but there is always the imminent fear of… “The Bachelor Party Stripper”. It’s one of those “long-standing traditions” that as a woman you’re a jerk to do anything about. The minute you hear a groom say “I don’t want a stripper, it would upset my wife” he is met with groans & fake whip noises. Who wants to be that woman? I AM that woman, but I guess I don’t want to be. But why is it that I’m so concerned. Well, today my friend hit the nail right on the head by saying, “We’re an incredibly insecure lot, and it’s completely understandable when you consider the way guys act.”

You might be asking at this point what we’re talking about, and what do we mean “How guys act”. Well, there is just a certain approach to the opposite gender that men seem to take that women who are not on the cast of Sex in the City don’t seem to take. Maybe sometimes you will see a woman physically salivating over their saucy pool boy, but all in all that is not the norm. However, on a day to day basis you might see a guy on the street oogling a girl with large & exposed breasts, or a larger than average ass. And what’s the excuse for this? “What, I didn’t even realize I was doing it, it’s just a reflex”. Alright then, it’s in your nature to wander, then I guess as a balance it is in our nature to keep a tight leash. It’s just kind of depressing to think of your boyfriend getting aroused by someone else, even if its just a stranger, on a level that’s supposed to be personal & only for you.

So in the effort of doing some research on the matter I looked up in Google “What % of men cheat”. Obviously this will draw up the response of “Strippers/Porn/Checking out Girls isn’t cheating”, and I know that. But the fear is that it will act as a gateway drug towards the ultimate reality that a lot of guys cheat on their partners. I know there have been studies on the matter, and I’m not sure what the numbers were. One of the first articles that I pulled up was “6 Reasons Why Men Cheat”. Oh, perhaps this will be insightful & teach me something to make me feel better & stop worrying…

“Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason why men cheat: boredom,” says Santagati, a relationship expert and former model who has dispensed no-nonsense dating advice on The Today Show, The Tyra Banks Show and Rachael Ray. Fortunately, he adds, it doesn’t take much for a woman to snap her man out of the doldrums. All she has to do is put a little energy into taking the monotony out of monogamy. [source]

Well that did exactly the opposite. What kind of message is it to send that not only should women NOT be insecure, but also that when a guy DOES fulfill her fears its likely because she wasn’t being “exciting” enough. I continue to read these “Reasons men Cheat” and it sounds more like a list of “Reasons men should break off an unhappy relationship but are too chickenshit to do the right thing so take the easy way out & have sex with some random person at a party instead”. I’m not convinced, these theories are all based on excuses & they all point their blame towards the woman somehow. So instead of this nonsense I am going to look to AskMen.com because they USUALLY have at least somewhat understandable things to say. So, sans the little blurbs, here is the AskMen top 10 reason list why men cheat:

10. Your lady doesn’t put out.
09. She cheated on you.
08. It’s challenging & exciting.
07. You can get away with it.
06. It boosts your ego.
05. The opportunity was there.
04. Your girlfriend is a nag.
03. Women let us.
02. She doesn’t turn you on anymore.
01. You don’t love her anymore. [Full Article]

Well at least one of those reasons means something other then “Because a lot of guys are jerkoffs” (Reason #9) I mean according to AskMen.com the following applies, “It’s an uncontested fact that most men can’t say “no” to sex.” So, this irrational fear that women all over the world seem to have about their mates is actually something that is presented as “fact” by other men! And what kind of message is THAT to send to ANYONE?!

So let me get this straight. There are a lot of guys that will admit, and I have heard many say this, that men cannot say no to Sex. Then in turn women say … “Then can you please avoid the temptation & not be around things that would be conducive to this happening” and guys tell us we’re in turn being unreasonable. Jane, get me off this crazy thing.

So, in trying to enlighten myself a bit & perhaps learn a thing or two to keep myself in check I just got a little pissed off instead. I would like to explain that I do not think that my boyfriend would ever actually cheat on me, as he is atypical from the “standard issue dirtbag” that this list seems to be referring to. But just on a general Stereotypical female to Stereotypical male type of argument, I really think the odds are stacked on this one. So I’m going to kind of try to sum up what I’ve learned and come up with a top 1 reason list that men cheat. Drumroll please. . .

1. You are too much of an asshole to get over yourself for more than 10 minutes and do the right thing whether that means breaking up with your significant other that you are unhappy with, or sucking it up & staying faithful to the significant other you are happy with.

There, much simpler. And don’t worry folks, I know, I know.. women cheat too. But when women cheat everyone, everywhere pretty much universally agrees they’re doing a shitty thing, I don’t think that ever comes into question. So the day a woman gets a high-five for the “awesome score last night” is the day I’ll wonder about that one beyond just thinking “what a jerk!”.